Paper Flowers
by Zevnen
Summary: Kira has nightmares about the little girl he couldn't save, all the while burning from his fever. A songfic to Evanescense's "Imaginary".


**Paper Flowers**

By _ShinobiWolf_

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_ Yet another songfic using Evanescence, this time it's "Imaginary". I got the idea for this yesterday, but I only started writing it today. It takes place after the Archangel lands in Africa, when Kira has his fever, and leads up to his conversation with Flay before she kissed him. It was agonizing, rewinding it ten times over to get the words down. All the while knowing Flay was faking it._

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Pain. Burning, searing pain. Kira felt like he was on the inside of a raging inferno, without any end in sight. The heat was just too much; he would surely faint any second now. Or had he already? He was surrounded in every direction by darkness. So very dark, and black, like the deepest reaches of outer space. Except in this "space", there were no stars to break up the darkness and guide him. Just dark, everlasting emptiness. His senses were off… He could neither hear nor feel. Except for the burning…

_Is this what Hell is like?_

_I linger in the doorway_

_Of alarm clock screaming _

_Monsters calling my name_

No sound or light, only darkness. His head wouldn't stop throbbing; he wished it would hurry up and end soon.

The air was stifling; through the unbearably hot air all that he could smell was sweat. His own sweat. Then it changed, slowly, very slowly. The never-ending darkness grew lighter and lighter. Now all he could see was color. Soft pastel colors completely surrounded him.

_Have I gone blind? No… There's a field…_

The sky remained its unnatural pastel hues. But it wasn't right… He still burned. His sensitive nose still stung. Not fitting to the soft colors around him.

_Let me stay where the wind will whisper to me_

_Where raindrops as they're falling tell a story_

The deep green of the field was sprinkled with dots of the same pastels of the sky. They appeared to be sprouts, slowly growing into many different colored flowers. Origami flowers, each one perfectly shaped and folded, without flaw.

Kira reached down to pick one up. It was a soft yellow, and strangely familiar. He ran a finger along one of the folded petals.

_In my field of paper flowers_

_And candy clouds of lullaby_

_I lie inside myself for hours_

_And watch my purple sky fly over me_

That was strange… The paper hadn't felt sharp… Yet still, warm, crimson blood dripped down his hand. Staining his palm, and the edge of the origami flower. Its soft yellow color deepened to a sickening shade of blood red, before finally wilting away to nothing.

A bright explosion of light blinded him. When he uncovered his eyes, all that he could see was fire. Bright orange, burning the field, the grass, turning every origami flower into black ashes. Then he remembered… Burning heat, hotter than an oven. He wondered how his cockpit hadn't melted from the heat.

The Strike.

Kira opened his eyes, slowly, painfully. His eyes were blurry, and his head felt like it was going to explode. The bright light only made the pain worse… Maybe if he shut his eyes the pain would all go away. He could hardly make out any sound, although he vaguely distinguished what sounded like Flay asking for a doctor.

_Don' t say I'm out of touch_

_With this rampant chaos- your reality_

_I know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge_

_The nightmare I built my own world to escape_

He remembered everything then. They were all heading back to earth… He, his friends, and the rest of the civilians. He was getting ready to leave when a little girl ran up to him, one overall strap done up while the other fell freely.

_Thank you for protecting the rest of us till now. _

The little girl reached into her purse and handed him a paper flower.

_If I have the power to make a difference, I should put it to good use!_

_In my field of paper flowers_

_And candy clouds of lullaby_

_But it wasn't enough…I failed Flay, I failed the little girl, I failed every innocent person on that shuttle that went up in flames. All because of me… If I had been fighting somewhere else, the shuttle wouldn't have gotten in the way… If I had only been faster I could've… It wouldn't have… Aaarrgghhh!!!_

Kira grabbed his head in pain. He dug his fingers harder and harder into his scalp, not caring if it hurt. Wanting it to hurt… Anything to keep his mind off the little girl and the flower. But it wouldn't work… Nothing could calm the raging inferno inside his brain. It hurt so much… He wished he was dead… No… He promised himself he would protect the others.

_Some protector you are…_ Kira's burning brain told him. 

_No! I-I tried my best to…_

_ It's your fault… All your fault… You did nothing and they paid for it with their lives…_

_ Nooo… _Kira's angry cries turned from fierce to pitiful.

_I lie inside myself for hours_

_And watch my purple sky fly over me_

"Kira?" Flay opened the door to Kira's room.

"Yes?"

"A member of the ground crew found this, and asked me if I could deliver it to you. He said that it must be yours, since it was in the Strike's cockpit."

_Thank you for protecting the rest of us till now._

_He pushed the throttle of the Strike to its limit… but it wasn't…_

"Hm? Kira?" Flay looked puzzled.

Kira stood from the bed and approached her. "Y-Yeah, thank you…" He shakily took the yellow origami flower from Flay's hand, and turned back around. He began to shudder.

"Kira? Something's wrong, isn't it? What?"

Kira only turned his head away.

"That little girl… I couldn't… I couldn't save her…" Kira couldn't take it anymore. He fell to his knees, holding his arms as he began to cry. "I… couldn't…"

Flay smiled, kneeling down in front of him. "Oh, Kira… Don't worry, you're not alone… I promise you everything will be alright…" Flay rested her head on Kira's as she stroked back his hair. "I'll be there for you, Kira…"

"Oh… hell…" He continued to cry, resting his head against her neck, hands gripping her shoulders, afraid that her comforting words were only another part of his burning nightmare.

"There there, now." She coaxed his head up with her hands. "I can't fight by your side, but my thoughts will protect you." Kira's eyes looked up to her, seeking any type of comfort they could find. Flay pulled his face closer, lightly pressing her lips against his.

There was something fake about her words, that much he could tell. But her forgiveness meant so much to him… The pain and suffering he was going through; Flay's kind words and soft touch eased it, fake or not. Kira relaxed, and returned her kiss.

_Swallowed up in the sound of my screaming_

_Cannot cease for the fear of silent nights_

_Oh how I long for the deep sleep dreaming _

_The goddess of imaginary light_

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End file.
